Finals

I dont know what to say. This semester should be a whole new one for formally it is my first year. Am I in the wrong place? I felt like a outsider sometimes. I think I will be forced to drop from that track. Well it might be a good news for me.
I know there is always stress and tension. People around you say they dont care about your grade, sometiems you hope to believe so. But still I care! Grade is sinificant for me now. I can say it is not important when I am at work, I can say so when I am already in post graduate school.
REVISIOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN in fact will never end. I have to review pieces and bits of yesterday otherwise there might be nothing left in my brain. Even though those are happy memory, special care is necessary for my case. On those warm warm winter day, take them out and enjoy the sun. In days like now, better stay indoors and have my computer as a company.
Wish me luck for finals!(writing this is just a break from the heavy revision)
This winter I will start on this stuff again for my Chinese blog is explosed to too many people. I can keep this one private. hehe!

Paper Crane

I watched Sadarako and One Thousand Paper Crane in the library today. I watched it twice and was moved to tears.
July 7th a day for all the Chinese to remember. Agust 6th for all the Japanese to remember. But we shall cherish every day we have now. I love my country but that doesnt mean I cannot feel sad for the innocent Janpanese who died in the bomb attack.
Children are innocent. They havent developed the evil mind but they are the weakest in teh war. They are the target to sacrifice. I dont understand why cant they think more about the future and others. Why are they so ego?
I used to hate those who start wars in the name of protecting others. I still hate them. But I understand now that we should distinguish the regime and the people. So wake up people, dont waste yours time in growing hatred. Dont support those leaders who have a great passion for taking revenge via war. Make your voice be heard. Make your wish come true!

Dont say I'm naive. I really dont understand politicy and religion. But I know we deserve peace! Our future depends on it. Why cant we build a better world with compassion and understanding?

Well it is a long time I have updated it. Let me report waht I did last month. I was very brave to take the course International Law( according to my friends words) I am very happy to say now it came to an end and I got a good mark, at least I am satisfied with it. But after a few days rest I returned to UST, because I had one more course--- Science Fiction. This course is intersting. It requires us to read Science Fiction and discuss it in class. Then I audit another course about programming ( according to the co-odinater I cannot take it or officially audit, but the lecturer agree to let me listen and do the lab thing) I will start writing this thing again cos I found some of my friends stick to thier English blogs. I should stick to it too.

Busy?

I am not busy but lazy. Suddenly found myself a kind of anti-english. Haha! I dont feel encouraged. I feel confused and tired. Next week I will do the profolio presentation. Wish me luck! Although I dont think luck works for me. Last time I thought luck was by my side, but it turned out to be failure again. I was responsible to the poor mark of my own part. But somebody said he did proofreading before handing in the work. I trust him. Anyway I know there is nothing for me to complain---It is my own fault. I should have checked it myself, even though I could not find all the mistakes. At least I wont feel sorry.
what about my summer plan? I will be busy. I will have the last final on 24 may. Then I may go out with Rebecca or Amber for a couple days. By the end of May I will go to Zhu Hai to see Minna. Haha! I want to see her boyfriend! From 6June I will have summer courses till August. From August 3 to 18 or sth. I will be in Beijing in XinDongFang. Hopefully I will take the TOFEL right after the training. Then I can see my friends in BJ!!!

Haha Saturday Badmiknton!!

Hoho! Although I went to bed very late last night(3 am), I feel as fresh as a new human being this morning. Well, why I went to bed so late last night? I went to Anna's room to borrow her hair drier and found out that she was unhappy. So I stayed and talked with her for a while=1 or 2 hour. She was worrying about her maths exam. Alas, we are adults, why r we still worried about marks like children? It's a habit maybe.
I booked court 1 from 9 am to 10 am and Rebecca booked court 2 from 10 am to 11 am!! haha we can play for 2 hours! The first hour I was on the same team with Monster and the next hour with Joseph. Rebecca played quite well! Monster asked me to learn from her. Hehe I will if I can. Unfortunately, I got hurt in the first hour and it became harder for me to catch the shuttle on me left. Cos every time I got that shuttle (lower under my knee) I will genuflect (haha monster u like it?) my knee will touch the ground. Bad luck! Anyway we had fun. I wanted to say a joke, it is a joke. Haha but i dont think Joseph get my point. ( He played very well, so cool! When he stroke the shuttle, he was like a swordman. Monster is good too but maybe he hasnt practiced for a long time)
On the way back to dorm, Monster and I spoke in English to show respect to Joseph. Hehe, hope our english is ok. Maybe next week we should book a court to play on Saturday. But final is coming la! I hate to say it, but I have to get a good mark in the physics final. I think maths is ok. Lang is ok. I can stand elec without a good mark. But I cannot stand phys!! Thinking of my phys teacher in high school. Really miss him.

Strolling

I went for a walk with Rebecca again today. Luckily I had my camera with me. I took a series photos of the benches in UST. I love the idea that every chair has its own story to tell. Maybe that's the one Joseph once sat on with Lily, maybe that's the one Rita sat on with Score... HaHa!


for more please visit my albums on the left of photos taken in UST.
Yesterday I went to the library to enjoy the movie A Streetcar Named Desire. Blandaro was so young at that time!( first impression) NOw he is dead... I dont like the play writer or the director ( I am not sure who is more responsible for it) for the most important part was cut. It's the rape on Blanche. Without this part, the story becomes unclear and kind of ridiculous( we cannot get a clear idea about why Blanche gets crazy). It also changes the original character. It's not so ironic as it is with that part. I found a lot of implications from the words. However I am not good enough to get all of them.
About the man who declaims he needs Blanche at first, he is the least lovable charcater in this movie to me. I hate this kind of man who cannot survive without his mother! He needs sb. it could be right, but anyone. He is more like a Lair than Blanche.
Stanley is worse if that part is not cut. He is honest maybe in some respect. However the way he treats his sister in law shows that he is numb and with no sympathy. I dont like that cold heart.
Stella should be a lovely woman in my mind. But it turns out that she has a strong mind! Perhaps I am affected by her appearance. I may like the ending of her saying" this I will not return" however it is not convincing enough!!
Overall it's still a very good movie though I found a lot of unsatisfatory. Put the technical limit into consideration, we cannot ask too much. ( If u like Vivien very much, dont watch it, she is old in this movie. If u r a big frined of Blandaro, dont watch this movie, he was handsome at that time, but with an not very mature performance. Well that's my own opinion. Haha! (I watched the opera also in the library.)

Function

I made some changes to my blog homepage tonight. I found it fun to edit by html! It's really convient and free to do everything. I appreciate this very much.
I did a lot of maths problem this afternoon in the library. I felt cold and tired so I went to the media room to relax. I watched the opera "A Streetcar Named Desire". Well it's to good to understand! I watched it without subtitle. Maybe I should say listen to an opera, but honestly I did watch! The body language helps me to understand. Maybe I will read the play or the novel when I have time. After that I can give some comments on it.

Today

Yesterday somebody told me that I should have written sth. more interesting. It seems that I wrote wahtever I like including my bad feelings!! Haha, I dont mean to defend myself but I guess I am still enjoying my life. I have been considering about change the description from "enjoy every minute" into " try to enjoy". But troublesome to do it. My dear friends, dont worry about me, sometimes I feel bad, but I overcome it so fast I dont even remember the bad feelings.
Today I watched the movie Rebecca. I am wondering how cant the girl be not happy living in that big pretty house? She has everything: love, wealth, health... En, but maybe she need a company---she is lonely. She is scared. I think people dont feel lonely and scared if they have somebody to talk to.
Today, our sharing section is a big big meal. I ate an apple before i went(regret) I felt full. Still I tried my best to eat as much as I could. We shared 4 pizzas(pizza hut) with about 12 people. The local were talking and laughing while eating, while the mainland kept eating quitely. You can imagine how funny this pic could be. After that I did my physics homework and read others' blogs. Wow I read Neo's. He took some wonderful photos in ust. Envy!!

Close Every Door To ME

Rebecca said she would like to give me a surprise. I didnt know until Joseph said he would go to play with us. I was too surprised to find out that I hadnt had shower. I went to bed at 8 Friday and didnt take a shower. This morning I thought it troublesome to have shower 2 a day. But if Joseph goes I have to have one!
One thing very embarrassing is that when I invited Joseph to go to SZ, he thought it too forward!! Suddenly I realized that although I did sth similar before, this time is really a bit faster than before. I wanted to explain but could only say "it's nothing to me" to cover up my true feelings. Well I guess Scool will misunderstand me again. He comforted me and that's very nice of him to say so. But honestly Scool, I dont fall in love so easily!! I think Joseph is different from those I knew and think he's nice and knind of familiar... dont know why. Maybe his name!? Yes, I love that musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. Haha! Also Webber's masterpeice. My favourite one isClose Every Door.
" Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me
Bar all the windows
And shut out the light
Do what you want with me,
Hate me and laugh at me
Darken my daytime
And toture my night
If my life were important
I would ask will I live or die
But I know the answers lie
Far from this world
Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
... Just give me a number
Instead of my name
Forget all about me
And let me decay
I do not matter,
I'm only one person
Destroy me completely
Then throw me away
For we know we shall find
Our own peace of mind
For we have been promised
A land of our own!"
This song fits me right? I am only one person, I do not matter...
I had more fun today but I think it's not good to play this way. 2 against 1! no matter how good that one is, i think it's not the way we play. Joseph asked for commets tonight. Well, what is his commet toward me? I am afraid to know...
Close every door to me, except the door to friendship.
Hide all the world from me, except the world of truth.
Bar all the windows, but let me talk free.
Do what u want with me, but let me do the same.
Hate me and Laugh at me, I dont care...
I dont want to be Joseph, why should I be the slave of the king? Freedom is all I want...

Integral of my life

Draw a Spectrum of my daily life in time domain, u will find that most of time, distorction exists. In maths class I was thinking about my trip to Poly U and in elec tutorial I was thinking about the maths problems and I was thinking about lunch in Lang. Maybe it can explain why I cannot concetrate and why I always get misunderstanding about things.
Sometimes we suddenly get a bad feeling and just cannot tell where it is from. I believe human's mind is too complicated to be understood.
Though I try to caculate the integral of my daily life here in HKUST, I guess I just do it in vain.
To conclude, my life is full of chaos hidden under the facts. Even I who provide this caculus problem cannot find the correct answer for it.
To estimate the value, I have to devide it into many parts and add them up. No, too hard to do that.
-----9:00 food 10:00 maths 11:00 food 1:00 food 3:00 maths 6:00 elec 7:00 food. Well then I guess FOOD is the biggest part in my life. haha! This arguement is invalid. Rubbish.

Poly U

(poly U) (libray)I went to Poly U today with Rebecca to attend a meeting about the toy competition. We made it like a trip. We started at about 2 o'clock from UST. On the way to the bus station we detoured with the purpose of taking some interesting photos. I enjoyed going out with Rebecca. Thanks to her, I can find the pure joy of seeing normal things. She has the magic of turning unromantic things into surprise.
Poly U gives me the first impression of passion. All the buildings are red or brown. But it's small. We strolled around with curious eyes. I took a lot of photos but students are everywhere. I found it rather interesting for them to have a degree for the design and making of underwears, bras. I saw some boys in the lab making them. Haha I think it's rather wierd for boys to do that? but it must be fun.
5, we entered the hall between building T and U. I hope it could be interesting otherwise I would feel better for I came here all the way...
Luckily the first guest made an interesting speech and everybody enjoyed it! He spoke beautiful English!! Fast but easy to catch. Well I cant say I learnt a lot but more than I expected.
We talked a lot about Badminton on the bus and metro. Rebecca told me what happened to her last week. I felt angry about those impolite guys. I couldnt imagine any male could be like that. But anyway they dont know how to stay with people that's their fault. Rebecca also told me there may be a misunderstanding between Joseph. Well fortunately I havent drawn any conclusion about him so far. I said to judge sb we need more time than we think. In fact according to what Rebecca said, Joseph is really a GENTLEMAN! I am glad to hear that she has such a good friend. So again I asked for his msn and Rebecca told me. Just now I talke to him through msn. I think he is a good boy. Very different from many friends of mine. He looks down upon those who speaks slang! I thought guys all like that. Honestly speaking I dont like at all and I myself never say that. He is unique I think.
Will Rebecca fall in love with him? Haha just kidding. I read Angela's Blog and learnt that she falls in love with a Germany. That guy likes her but not love. She said she was grateful for that. And I think if u fall in love with IMPOSSIBLE, u will suffer a lot. More than u can bear. Shandy stayed with a exchange boy a lot. After his depature she found herself vacumm. She had to go back to reality which it's cruel to her. She even warmed me and Amber not to bring BF to room. Because if we break up it will be painful to live in a room full of memory about him. Well although I am very curious about how it works for a couple to stay together all the time, I am optimistic about that(I dont have that kind of experience!). They even sleep together. Haha maybe I am too sensitive about that. Rebecca is really smart to handle any situation and maybe Joseph has already has one. Well it's not my business anyway.
In fact I felt bad on the way back to UST, wanted to throw up. I told myself :"hold on!" and had meal in seafront with rebecca. I have no reason to be unhappy la! ^!^ (I dont have good luck, I feel a little bit disapointed I dont know why. Cannot explain that.... )

Badminton

I played badmiton with Rebecca, a PG civil girl and a exchange ABC boy. I think it's a kind of strange group? Anyway Rebecca ensured me it's gonna be fun and she told me the boy's an easy-going one. But when I asked for his msn, he's sort of hesitating. Then I wouldn't say he is or not. I thought I'd better see it myself. But it's a chanllenge for me. I went to bed after 2 before 3 and couldnt get a good sleep. Luckily, I am so excited this morning that I forgot about the sleepless night. I was on the same team with the boy. Rebecca said he's raelly good at it. Well let's see then. En, he's good at using his wrist. I dont have the right to judge anyone cos I dont play well myself. I seldom played it with my friends in high school. But I believe I will fall in love with it again. It remind me of my happy childhood. The first time I saw it was after my father's return from trip on business. He bought me a set. I started to play it with my father every day. At that time my father was really nice and with good temper. He was a Chinese professor in the university and in my memory he was strict but spoke in a good way, at least I like it. Later I played it with a boy the same age with me. I wrote sth about the boy in my chinese blog. We are still good friends although I seldom phone him or email him(I am lazy, but if he goes to SZ, I will take him to as many places as I can. For me, making phones without any purpose is a way to kill time but not a way to have a friend.) After I went to SZ, my father changed a lot. He now works for the government and speaks in an official way which I dont like. He asked me to played with him for some times but I always find ways to reject it. I forgot about how to play it gradually.
Playing with Rebecca is interesting. She is nice girl. I dont know her well enough but I have a lot of time at least 3 more years. I remeber my teacher in high school once said, " you should always treasure ur friendship in school. It's the puriest and sweetest one u can ever had." I repect that teacher very much and I believe waht he said. So I am very afraid to lose my friends in school and I lost some. I will never understand what was on my mind in the past, I did I do that or why did I do that. I can never know myself well enough. My life is seeking for the real me and I will do it all the time till I die.
One hour is too short cos the boy is good and I didnt need to sweat. I said I just got warm-up. But we had to go. On the way back to hall I asked to boy to go to sz and I could be his tour guide. In fact I told this to all of my new friends. Thanks to my parents, I guess I inherit thier hospitableness. For me it's quite natural to say so and I really mean it. My father (though he becomes that kind i dont like) always tells me to bring friends home. Someone like Rebecca. Haha but if I bring home boys every week, i think he wont like it. My mother will like it I think. That's what we call the same magnetism repels each other in Chinese lo ^!^

I took this photo in UST o! lovely right?

Impressed!

I've seen those paintings printed for many times! But it's the first time I see the real thing! I could tell that my heart beat fast before I enter the museum. There were not many people there because it was afternoon and everybody was at work. But I still ququed for about 10-20 minutes.
I always love Monet, Renoir and Degas. However, seeing these masterpieces in such a distance, I knew I love them more. I found some other excellent painters that I didnt paid much attention to before, but they are really good!
I wrote a long article about my feeling toward the exhibition in Chinese. You can find it in my Chinese blog.
Alfred Sisley

Library ~~~

I went to the library this afternoon after having a big meal with Amber and having a walk with Rebecca.
I met Mice, Camilla, Michelle there so I joined them. They were preparing for the coming Chemistry exam. Complaint doesnt work they still found it hard to feel happy about it. I am luckily at least I can have a breath for a longer time. Therefore they were angry and rebellious, I was calm and satisfied. I finished my maths homework and physics homework. I went to the reserve center for the reference reading for sosc005 and then borrowed some interesting books. I also borrowed 4 CDs form the media centre. Generally I had a good time. I didnt want to make them feel worse so I just kept working and tried to avoid any words that would hurt thier feelings.
8:45, 15 minutes before the library close, I met Amber and Anna at the gate of the library. It's hard for me to enjoy the walk for I wore a dress and high-heel shoes. When nobody were around, I secretly took off my shoes and walked on bare-foot. But Anna laught at my wierd way of walking.
When we got back it was late and I realized that I hadnt had dinner!
I wished I could meet my friends in the library but i am not that kind to go together with friends.----paradox!

SHOPPING

Kama went shopping today with Amber. It's a reward for myself, though I may not do so well in the exams. Anyway I just need a relax after that. We took a minibus then the MTR then walked several blocks and finally got to the building where Amber wanted to fix her MP3 player. I tried not to complain but in fact I couldnt catch up with her----I wore unsuitable shoes!!! Luckily I found some wonderful windows. I couldnt take my eye off them. However I shook a little bit so that some of the photos r not very clear. After that we went to Mongkok on the purpose of finding a good removable hard disk. But you know we are both unfamiliar with that, so I have to call for help. At first I thought of Monster, a friend of mine. It happened that he was expecting his parents, so I have to give up. He gave me some useful information. Then I thought I could try my luck, so I phoned my cousin. He was still in his office, working overtime. He was able to help us and promised to come and join us as soon as he could leave. It seemed that everything went smoothly. We strolled down the street, well, struggled through the crowd, to be exact. We went to a shopping mall for young people. I bought a sleeveless jacket ( dont know how to say that) and a very short coat. Amber bought a necklace. My cousin didnt break his promise even though he still had some work to finish. He took us to a shop in the computer center and in a minute we got our hard disk. We are both very satisfied.


I cooked Green Tea Jelly and spaghetti. I love the Jelly!

It's a LONG day!

I didnt wake up until Li suddenly cried, "you will be late! Get UP!" Then I jumped up and rushed to the lecture theatre----I had exam!
Today I had 2 big exams! What a day!
Therefore when I got back, the rebelling thought rushed to my mind that I should do sth else more interesting than study tonight! So I did! I kept building up my BLOG in msn space. This time I use Chinese as the media to express myself. Though I got lost in word sometimes, after all it's my mother language. It's quite natural to write sth in Chinese.
Tomorrow I will go window shopping if time allows, and most important Li wants to buy a removable hard disk. So I guess that's all for today. I will write more la!
by the way I decided to write only daily life details in this blog, so if you want to know more about my previous life, or some issure about me more serious you can visit my blog in msn. ALso you will see many photos taken by me or my photos there.
http://spaces.msn.com/members/cratosvvg
Good NIght!

Good BYE March!

Good Bye, COLD march! It's far from what I expected. I brought only one coat with me and suffered a lot form that. Honestly speaking, I hate to be in the same clothes and with same hairdo every day. I expect the unexpected in my life and I am very fond of variation! Therefore, you can imagine how miserable it is for me to wear the same easy-get-dirty white coat every day!! What is worse, I thought the summer was coming and took that white one home and brought some thin clothes for summer. Very soon I find out that there's no sign for summer at all! Spring likes UST a lot and drive the sun away. I don't understand how can those ladies tolerate the cold wheather. No matter how cold it is, you can always see some girls in mini dress. Perhaps it's a good thing for boys.

this is a wallpaper I made last month. It can also be used as a canlender. I've created a series of them, when finished there will be 12 in total

Purple Potatos!

Haha! I guess u have never seen this! I went home this Easter Holiday. My mother took out a bowl of it and asked me to eat it up. I thought it must be sth very strange and bitter. It turns out that it's really tasty! Mum said it was a kind of special potatos. It dyes the soup purle naturally.

Kama's cooking

I cooked a lot. Because I can save money this way. This is what I cooked yesterday. Soup and eggplant! I think they r tasty. Perhaps I will make a new website about cooking life in university in the summer holiday.

Kama and Chouchou

It's ME! I took this photo in a friend's home. The family have a sweet cute dog. It dosent bite or bark! The poor little thing was picked up in the street. It was badly hurt and the nice family took it to the hospital. I think that's reason why it's so sweet.
It's Kama

AHAH what am I doing!!

All of a sudden I realised that I spent a lot of time on this lately discoverd way for killing time!!! What am I doing? I have 2 exams on April fools' day! I dont want to be a fool on that day ah. Oh, that's me---- crazy about the things I like.
Wish me luck guys!

u can visit kama's homepage there are a lot of images created by Kama.
http://ihome.ust.hk/~cs_lzx
Most of the images I made were from last year la, so u cannot see my new work lol.
If I am not that lazy, hopefully u can see them by June.
Kama need some sleep now.
Night Night!

In My Dreams

I traipsed in one of my dreams. When I woke up, I was nowhere but on my bed.
I was taking whatever I wanted in one of my dreams. When I woke up, I had nothing but escapism.

I was devoured by anxiety in my dreams. When I woke up, I forgot them all.

I was in love in my dreams. When I woke up, I do not know what is love...

There are so many dreams that I cannot realise them all. There are not so much time that I have to cherish. I dont know what will happen the next moment. What I am sure is that what I can do now.