Grey's Anatomy

You wont believe this,Ｉhad a fairly good sleep last night, waking up this morning with the beautiful dream about having a dog, but then I felt horrible after that early morning shower. I decided to skip classes. SO I DID. I kept drinking water, eating my prunes, actually every time I felt sick about study, about my life, I ate them. And what else, I watched all the Grey's Anatomy that I have! Crazy! Just now, I finished eating the whole can and watching all the 15 episodes! In fact, I enjoy this life. I knew I was actuaclly ruining my life, but at the same time, I couldnt help thinking that as a gift! When you get sick, it is a gift for you to relax. The dirty truth is that I was and am relaxing the 365 days! I abused it. I wonder if I'd ever felt nervous or guilty, yes, I had, the moment before I get my bad result. I am healthy relatively, compared to those sick people, in Grey, what else should I ask? I have extra money for cinema, of course, parents pay that; I can eat some snacks if I want; I have some really good friends; I am wearing the clothes I choose, not that getting from others. I am grateful and totally contented with my life. Truely! Some religious people think people like me without a faith dont know how to be grateful or what satisfaction is. The fact is I do. But just dont see the same sin they think I have. But what I did today, I consider as a sin. Why I enjoying my mistake? Some great thinker said thousands years ago that tragedy had the power to attract people. I do believe two opposite extremes go very close together. The more you love sb., sometimes could be the truth that the more you wanted to kill him. The more I abused my privilige, the more I feel innocent and released. How paradoxical and ironic.
Well, if you happen to read this crap, just ignore it. I cannot confess in my other blog, since parents discovered it and kept checking me up. Then I turned my pretty blog into a boring and full of ugly secrets one. Well, I know this one shall be safe, nobody read this blog since a long time ago.