My heart is broken

I was told that after all the time I contributed so much, I was not actually on board. I was fooled. They all sent me emails to ask me to stay. I wish it was just a misunderstanding. I know there is sth. wrong but I can just let it be instead of asking why. Imagine how can u ask sb not on board to turn in fee and contribut her time and effort? How can you ask me why the position is that important? It is not that important for me, I think they have no right to judge that or quest that. It is my own right to ask for a position. Yet Haze came with some cakes, I knew she actually was responsible to these. It was her who asked me to join and she didnt tell me anything about being a helper. I guess if Charles had that misunderstanding about me(I was willing to work as a volunteer), there must be sb who told him so. I hope there was nobody who tried to take advantage of me. From my point of view, most of her concerns were about herself which is understandable for human being is tend to be selfish. I was angry honestly but didnt show. I know there r some innocent people got involved and some students have heard about my dealing with them. They like my work and I should be responsible. I don't want to be selfish. Well maybe that's why I was in delimma. Thanks to Rebecca, Daniel and Amber for their supporting. Thanks to Ivan, talking with him is quite comforting. Thanks to all those friends who care about me. I told them I wish to continue to work with them as long as I am part of the club. Yes, I have my pride. This time they did break my heart.
Good news, Ivan said he would go to SZ with me. Of course Rebecca will go too. It will make both sides easier. I was silly to tell him the truth. But I know there is nothing really serious and besides I don't want to lie to him. I won't lie to my dear friends. My parents were quite open in fact, this time was an accident and my fault. Anyway it is solved.